Archive for the ‘religious liberty’ Category

The True Story of Adam and Eve  And the Garden of Doom (Based on real events)

June 18, 2018


The Great and Powerful Gardener had a Great and Gorgeous Garden, beautiful beyond description because words had not yet been invented. In the Gorgeous Garden trees were heavy laden with fruit and nuts: walnuts, hickory nuts, coconuts, peanuts, and pecans. 

One non-24 hour day, the Great Fixer-Upper, tinkered with the Milky Way that was not lighting up the way the Great Tinkerer had intended.  Once it was just right the God of Corrections remembered the Gorgeous Garden and discovered what Gardens do when you’re not watching. The Gorgeous Garden had grown into a beautiful and gorgeous but tangled jungle. 

The Great Gardener had better things to do than prune and weed a jungle; therefore the Glorious  Creator created a poor but useful undocumented worker to square away the jungle until it was a gorgeous Garden shipshape Bristol fashion. And the Great Name Caller called the worker, “Man”, which was the Great God’s word for Adam. 

The gorgeous Garden became more beautiful every day, but Adam looked glum and glummer. The Wise and Powerful God wondered if Adam had the flu, but the Almighty One hadn’t created the flu yet. Or dyspepsia. There were fruits and nuts and berries; why did Adam have no appetite? 

The Great Omniscient God studied the other animals the Creator had formed. The cattle were lying in the shade chewing their cuds in contentment. The crocodiles greeted their Creator with a smile. The unicorns were so fat their Creator feared they would knock off their horns trying to get in the ark, but that was later. Adam had everything the other animals had but a companion. 

Adam hung out with the dogs and that’s why humans have flat nails rather than pointed nails. For flea disposal. Filing your nails to points is wrong and stop it.

The Great and Creator God had learned some things in creating so the Holy Maker created a mate that was better built than Adam. The woman was built like a 36-34-36 Abrams tank. With a personality to match.

 And the Creator looked at the woman and she was good. But she was a mistake. She opened her eyes and didn’t like what she saw. “I have to fix this place up,” she said. “Make it a decent place for a woman to live in. And no dogs in the house.” 

And the Ever Present God said, “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

A lot of things displeased the woman, starting with the hairy thing that said he was an Adam. The woman didn’t know how many Adams there were but she knew they all required fixing up to be presentable. This one didn’t even wear clothes. She didn’t wear clothes either but naked women looked better than naked Adams. Except King David. But that was Michelangelo’s David. God’s King David had feet of clay.

This Adam had invented language and with his first words said she was his servant. Well, that was heifer dust.

“I’m hungry,” Adam said. “Get me something to eat.”

“Get it your…”, she paused. 

Adam had picked up a club and he swung it at a round orange thing on the ground but he was thinking of her. 

”Try these,” the woman said, handing Adam a handful of peanuts. Peanuts gave Adam gas and Eve plucked peanuts, threw them on the ground and stomped on them. And that’s why today peanuts grow under the ground. 

The woman went to the river that flowed through the Garden to get a drink in a still pool and saw her reflection. She didn’t know what it was until she tried to touch it and saw the reflection of her hand. She examined her reflection in the pool. “I have to do something with this hair”, she said. 

She decided to explore the Garden to find a comb and maybe something that would surprise and please Adam. Maybe if she pleased him enough he would do something with himself to please her. Maybe he would pluck his own food from the trees. But no more peanuts.

In her exploration she found the prettiest tree in the Garden. The woman had an eye for beautiful things and hands for practical things. Beautiful blossoms, luscious looking fruit. She picked blossoms and stuck them in her hair to please Adam. She really should wash her hair but … later. 

She couldn’t reach the fruit because there was a serpent under the fruit. It was probably a Komodo dragon because if you see one today it will stick out its tongue and flap its mouth trying to talk, but the Great and Terrible God made it dumb for being so smart.

The dragon said, “Did the bad cop tell you that you can’t eat anything in the Garden because it’s His Garden?” 

The woman said, “God doesn’t speak to me. The Almighty only speaks to Adam.” It was a complaint.

 The woman plucked a fruit from the tree and gave it to the dragon. It was probably a pomegranate.

The dragon closed its eyes and tasted the pomegranate. Drool ran from the corners of its mouth. “When you taste it you’ll think you died and went to heaven,” the dragon said.

The woman tasted the fruit and she did think she had died and gone to heaven. She thought to herself, I know, I’ll take some to Adam. He’ll eat anything, even peanuts. I need to give him ambition, improve his taste, make him a person with feelings. 

She wished she had a skirt or a shirt so she could carry more fruit. She could only carry two, one in each hand. She tried to carry one between her throat and her chin but she sneezed and the dragon grabbed the pomegranate, closed its eyes and died.

The woman took the fruit to Adam hoping he would notice the blossoms in her hair. They were so pretty and smelled like chocolate. Adam noticed nothing but the pomegranates. “Where did you get those?” he asked.

“From the prettiest tree in the Garden. You never notice anything.”

“God told you that you could eat from any tree in the Garden except that tree,” Adam said.

“God doesn’t speak to me,” the woman said. It was a complaint. “The Almighty Name Caller hasn’t even given me a name.” That also was a complaint. Until he met a woman Adam had never heard a complaint. “Why didn’t you tell me?” the woman asked. “You never tell me anything.”

“I tried,”Adam said. “But you talk so much I never get a chance. God told me that if I ate the fruit of that tree I would die.”

“I gave the big lizard a pomegranate and he said he felt like he had died and gone to dragon heaven. Then I dropped one and he ate it and was speechless.”

“Since you went all that way and brought me one, I reckon we ought to eat them.”

It wasn’t a thank you but Adam did notice she had done something for him and she was speechless.

They ate their pomegranates and heard thunder like the  Great and Powerful God waking from a nap. They felt the shake of the earth as the Well Rested God went walk-about. What if the Great Explorer God looked for them? And they knew they needed a door. For the bathroom. And the bedroom, and maybe a front, and especially a back door. But there were no doors so they made aprons of leaves so they would have a way to carry more pomegranates. 

The God Who Knows Everything asked, “Why do you need a door? Have you eaten of the Tree of Doom?”

Adam didn’t have a mother he could blame. That left God and the woman. God was scarier but the woman was louder and in his face. Adam said, “The woman that You gave me made me do it.”

Soon-to-be Eve was miffed. Adam blamed her for everything and the first time God spoke to her it was to blame everything on her and put a curse on her and also all the female mammals in the Garden. And the Almighty of All Good Things didn’t give her a name but let Adam give her a name.

Adam. Adam couldn’t remember what he named the velociraptors and called them Evangelicalciraptors. And the transgender duck-billed platypus, Adam couldn’t remember whether to call it guy or gal, man or madam, dawg or the B word.

“It’s not fair,” Eve said. “You made the Tree of Doom the loveliest tree in the Garden where you knew I would notice it,” Eve said. “Adam never notices anything. A dragon could crawl up and kiss him on the ear and he wouldn’t notice it. You made it good for food when You knew I was the practical one who was most concerned with feeding the family. You made it desirable to anyone who wanted to be wise when you knew Adam spent his time dreaming of another wife or two and an air-conditioned tractor.”

Adam had asked for a handiwoman he could use around the house and God had given him a Marine drill instructor.

“You knew I was the one in the family who hated serpents. Why did you put one in the Garden? When you destroy the world with a flood don’t let serpents in the ark or it will be your fault.

“And besides,” Eve said slowly winding down. “I gave Adam a pomegranate because I’m the one who shares. Adam doesn’t even share his feelings.”

Adam put his hand on Eve’s shoulder that was draped in leaves and guided her away from the wrath of the Source of All Help lest it destroy them both. Adam knew he had to stand between Eve and the All-Loving Father, lest she persuade God that she was an Adam, too. Or deserved equal pay. 

Eve prayed more than he did, except in public. The Eternal Father loved all creation but Adam wanted to be loved most. Adam didn’t want to be shipshape Bristol fashion. Adam kind of liked his faults. If he had to give them up he would miss them. Adam wanted God to cut him some slack with Eve.

“Sometimes I wish I could choose my own husband, someone who wasn’t wrapped up in himself all the time or kicking or throwing or clubbing fruit because it was round. That would be nice,” Eve said.

Adam resolved to keep Eve busy washing children and tending dishes. Especially when Adams gathered to make rules, pass out leadership roles, and decide what Eves were good for and what they should wear. Adam would assume authority over Eve. In affirmation, Adam squeezed Eve’s shoulder.

“That hurt,” Eve said. 

“It’s for your own good,” Adam said.

God killed a couple of animals and made clothes for the naked: a donkey for Eve and an elephant for Adam because God hated clothes that were made of different kinds of leaves. 

And Adam and Eve left the Garden of Doom knowing they were going to die, which is the root of all knowledge.

Germany 1930 America 2017

May 26, 2018

There is no equivalency between Germany in 1he 1930s and America today, but there are parallels. One of those parallels is religion. Germany, Austria and Hungary were among the major Christian nations in the world. No American president has more blatantly declared his Christianity than Adolf Hitler and since Hitler the faith of no politician has been so widely accepted.  Millions of Christians around the world admired him, including Americans. Some German-American Bunds taught German propaganda, as did Defenders of the Christian Faith, Knights of the White Camellia, Sentinels of the Republic and the Christian Front.  The America First Committee accepted funding from Germany.  

Christians admired Hitler for several reasons:

  After World War One he called his nation to repentance. “Providence withdrew its protection and our people fell…And in this hour we sink to our knees and beseech our almighty God that He may bless us, that He may give us the strength to carry on the struggle for the freedom, the future, the honor, and the peace of our people. So help us God.”    

His faith-based charity, “With a tenth of our budget for religion, we would thus have a Church devoted to the State and of unshakable loyalty.” 

His morality. He did not smoke or drink and he abhorred pornography and homosexuality.

His mission. “Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord”…We want to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit. . .We want to burn out all the recent immoral developments in literature, in the theater, and in the press–in short, we want to burn out the poison of immorality which has entered into our whole life and culture as a result of liberal excess. . .”

His belief that his nation’s weakness was because  “…the watchword of German foreign policy ceased to be: preservation of the German nation by all methods; but rather: preservation of world peace by all means.” 

His certitude: “The greatness of every mighty organization embodying an idea in this world lies in the religious fanaticism and intolerance with which, fanatically convinced of its own right, it intolerantly imposes its will against all others.  If an idea in itself is sound and, thus armed, takes up a struggle on this earth, it is unconquerable and every persecution will only add to its inner strength.” 

His promise to end terrorism: “. . .we must not dodge this struggle, but prepare for it, and for this reason acquire armament which alone offers protection against violence.  Terror is not broken by the mind, but by terror.” 

His belief that the Ten Commandments were the foundation of Nazi Germany: “The Ten Commandments are a code of living to which there’s no refutation. These precepts correspond to irrefragable needs of the human soul.” 

His desire for birth on demand. “And marriage cannot be an end in itself, but must serve one higher goal, the increase and preservation of the species and of the race.  This alone is its meaning and its task.”

And God seemed to favor him.  “I would like to thank Providence and the Almighty for choosing me of all people to be allowed to wage this battle for Germany.” “I follow the path assigned to me by Providence. . .there is a God. . .And this God again has blessed our efforts during the past 13 years.”  February, 1940

Republicans vs. Religious Liberty

July 14, 2017

Christianity, Islam, Judaism and most other religions require followers to practice hospitality to others, especially to refugees, “the least of these” as Jesus expressed it. However, politicians who claim to believe in limited governmental power also claim the unlimited power to deny religious liberty to believers who attempt to practice their religion in addition to proclaiming it.